I'm back to editing my second novel. I’ve just completed the first character pass of Draft 3, focusing on one of the four point‑of‑view characters. He’s an administrator and religious leader, preoccupied with how he is perceived. His chapters required me to channel my high-school Latin teacher:
Formal, deliberate dialogue. His speech tends toward ceremony and precision. Only when drink loosens him—or when he returns to the countryside of his birth—does that formality slip. Capturing those shifts cleanly was a key part of the pass.
A contraction‑free narrative voice. His inner monologue is controlled, almost ritualistic. That meant removing contractions throughout his POV sections and reshaping sentences to maintain flow. For example, a line like “He didn’t name their leader” became “He left their leader unnamed.”
Metaphors and descriptors that reflect his worldview. Every comparison must feel like something he would think. When an earlier draft used a metaphor like a “theological disease” that he would “lance,” I reworked it into something less pointy yet more ominous: a “theological poison” he intended to “purge.”
It is meticulous work, but deeply satisfying. With this pass complete, his chapters feel more coherent, more inhabited, and more faithful to the man he is becoming on the page.
